Tasteful Reviews

There’s more to shitty beer than it’s EFFing close to water.

Miller High Life

Upon opening, the cap lets out a typical hiss, which falls far short of a champagne-like explosion.


A 4.3% abv enigma, Busch is surprisingly drinkable with as much taste as the beer’s slogan has meaning: “Clear and bright as mountain air.”

Oettinger Pils

A bier whose name phonetically resembles the sickly sounds of over-inebriated drinkers forcefully evacuating the contents of their stomachs: Uhhr-ting-err.

Natural Light

Natural—“Natty”—even “Nasty” Light, as some call it, is favored by dorm residents, campus “Greeks,” spring breakers, and other thirsty consumers who sacrifice quality in pursuit of maximum quantity.